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Ah, the resume. You know, that 8.5 by 11 piece of parchment with the clever arrangement of ink that's supposed to land you a job. Surely you know, that flimsy sheet you print 5 copies of for any interview that you somehow walk away with 8 copies of. No, you're thinking of a cover letter. Remember, it's that four-cornered file you get a copy of, the 6 people interviewing you get copies of, and the front desk lady and janitor get a copy of for good measure in case they know someone. No, that would be your business card. The resume! It's slightly stronger than a tissue and could work as one in a pinch. Ring any bells? It may or may not have one or two or three accent marks on it written out. Some say four.
Yeah, you keep it somewhere on your desktop as it fades into obsolescence and decrepitude. Several years later, you blow off the cake of dust and, after you sneeze, you update your latest diligence and accomplishments. Yeah that thing, okay, I want to share a few thoughts on that glorified bit of stationery we give so much sway to.
Let's get the basics out of the way. Yes, you need one. Yes, you should update it every year whether you're looking for a job or not. No, it is not the star of your interview. That's why most recruiters maybe glance at the thing to start the interview; the good ones will even read 10% of it in preparation for the little exchange of guttural vibrations wherein they'll decide if you're a good fit in the first minute based on how you carry yourself. You know, your bearing -- firm handshake, smile, personality, disposition, posture, tone, and even your ability to trade small talk. Everyone has an aura they exude whether they know it or not and that's what it comes down to when two recruits are equally qualified...but I digress.
I do hope it's only one page. Truly I do. Let me type it again for those in the back. Please keep it to ONE page. Uno, single and ready to mingle, strong and independent but a little lonely at night, solo and solitary. If you can't summarize the most relevant experience and qualifications you have for a job on one sheet, I seriously question your communication skills, not to mention your humility. Okay, some specialized jobs require multiple pages, but for the majority of people brevity is bliss, as in life.
Each bullet point needs to start with a concrete action verb. Put in just one "administered" or "worked on" or "completed" and I can almost hear the recruiter thinking about their lunch. I want created, built, designed, motivated, initiated, wrote, delivered, pioneered, persuaded, developed. Each bullet point should be ONE line long. I don't care what kind of Microsoft or wordsmith gymnastics you have to do, get it to one line. Maybe carry an idea onto another bullet point, but please, no more than 5 bullet points per section. You're trying to run a classy, minimalistic operation here.
If you look toward the bottom of the page, you should see your education taking up as little space as possible. My experience with recruiters has always been to hire experience over education. Experience goes at the top and ideally takes up half the page. Just above your education you'll find specific qualities and certifications that make you perfect for this job.
Please don't describe what you do (like a job duties list); describe what you did. When I write you, I mean YOU. What did you do in that position that no one else did? If you're doing work like anyone else could do it, you're doing work wrong. You bring something unique to the table so execute it and then brag about it.
Be specific.
Quantify, quantify, quantify. Try reading that 5 times fast. Seriously though, pepper your resume with numeric expressions wherever possible. If one thing catches the recruiter's 100-mile-per-hour eye, it'll be a number. If you don't know the specific number, just round, but stay honest.
Proofread it. Then proofread it again. Then give it to your mom with the instructions to pass it onto your dad, the FedEx delivery man, and then your cat to proofread. Then, proof it again, post it on social media for your friends to proof, then three more proofs and it'll be good to go. Seriously though, typos are the death knell of your fondest wishes for a career.
So remember, the resume is really more like a key to get in the door and maybe kick off the conversation. You're the star. The antagonist is the guy with the next time slot. You got to outshine him. Do something different and memorable. You won't do it with the written words in a cover letter or resume.* Those are good and necessary. You'll do it with your attitude, your candor, your stories based on experience. Recruiters are like everyone else. They want to hear a story and a resume is quite the opposite.
*Words can be effective to single you out on a cover letter. The cover letter I used when I got my current writing position began with, "Writing comes more naturally to me than mooing comes to cows." You have to take a risk and even do something strange. It will probably pay off.
One final point. At your eulogy someday, very little will be said about your professional career. I can guarantee no resume qualities, no education will be mentioned, perhaps with the exception of the ever-vague "hard worker" designation. What will be spoken of is how you treated strangers, your relationships, your temperament, your humor, your values, your faith in God, your family.
The point is that the important things we do in life are not on our resume. That's how the world esteems our value, our output, our efficiency. We are so much more; life is so much more; we should treat each other not according to how useful we are, but for who who are -- human beings with dignity. And we should ponder what will be said at our eulogy every day of our lives. Resumes are by necessity reductionist and objectifying. Don't let resume qualities drive your life and you'll be happier for it.
Enough writing. I better take some of my own advice and brush the cobwebs off my four-cornered friend. Someone recently asked for a copy of it, which is what started this blog in the first place!
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